She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
