JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
