just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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