You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
