i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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