Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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