I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
