normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
