She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
