So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
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He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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