woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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