I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
