Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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