Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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