You're so nebulous sometimes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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