So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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