id be glad to
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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