Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
