As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
