Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
