I hate your face
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
