you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
