I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
