And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
