My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just forgot I was standing up.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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