It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
