it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
