but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
