We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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