...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
sex in a hospital.. check
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
