My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize