She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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