my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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