My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
