and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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