i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
