Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
