You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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