Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
