i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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