just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
