just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
