u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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