for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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