Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
