He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
