so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
