and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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