well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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