Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
