everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
