It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
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Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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