I just saw a hot homeless man
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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