How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
