32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how drunk are you?
Several
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
