sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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