after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
