drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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