YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
