LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
