I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
