dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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