I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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