one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My penis needs a shock collar
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
