I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
