Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
