Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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