how do flat chested girls get laid?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
