I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
