Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
