i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
