need another drink. this is the easiest way
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
